Choice Suspended

 

There is no winning

just an upper hand

The scoreboard fluid

as change commands

 

The odds on fire

to win or lose

With choice suspended

— the moment skewed

 

**

 

Flows A River

 

Why in the world

would you care

And if you did

would it matter

 

Our differences

vast

And incongruence

shatters

 

Diametrically

opposed

With a canyon

between us

 

Where truth

flows a river

Never filled

— by consensus

 

**

No Quarter

 

The arrogance of

importance

Plato

staking his claim

As thought

gives no quarter

Where truth

— is proclaimed

 

**

 

Death Sentence

 

Meandering

through life

Our consciousness

bought

 

A capital

sin

Forgiveness

— is naught

 

**

 

Lip Service

 

I approve the better

but follow the worse

Entitlements hostage

— alone in the hearse

 

**

 

 

The Magic Within

 

Music has no borders

and no axe to grind

Love has no labels

but seekers must find …

 

The magic within

both the sound and the heart

To change what an army

— must yield in their rout

 

**

 

Fair Winds

 

The #1 indicator of good health

— nothing happens

 

**

 

Bestowed

 

When diffidence

takes precedence

over enlightenment and fact

 

All confidence

in abeyance

every gift is abstract

 

To believe is

confirmation

of what the spirit will know

 

Giving credence to a memory

more than gifted

— bestowed

 

**

 

The Moment Upon Us

 

Resetting

your watch

the end coming soon

Ignoring

the ticking

whose bomb will bring doom

The sands

running thinner

the hourglass clear

The moment

upon us

— when doubt turns to fear

 

**

 

Nerve Endings

 

The one thing

I know better

than anything else

Is myself

plain and simple

— viscerally felt

 

**

 

Ballast

 

The more you learn

the less you need

Your burden lifting

— as lessons free

 

**

 

Let’s Begin

 

Can you think it

— I can think it

 

Can you feel it

— I can feel it

 

Can you claim it

— I can claim it

 

Can you live it

— let’s begin

 

**

 

Jumping The Rim

 

I lived most of my life

in a fishbowl

floating and swimming

in place

 

Watching in awe

at the consequent sprawl

while confined to my

own little space

 

One morning I took

it upon me

to swim fast from the depths

far below

 

And once jumping the rim

I was freed of my fins

there to run

— where a fish never goes

 

**

 

Once Out Of The Barn

 

Hello

opens a door

Goodbye

— cannot close

 

**

 

Remade

 

I lived my life

broken

never wanting

to mend

Killing every

emotion

that was poisoned

on end

Denuding their

power

I went on

my way

And forty years

later

content

— and remade

 

**

 

Betrayal Is Fatal

 

A human

German Shephard

you get only

one chance

Mistreatment

is terminal

and you’re barred

from the dance

My loyalty

total

beyond question

or fear

But betrayal

is fatal

and banishment

— clear

 

**

 

Both Bleeding Red

 

A disease

or an ailment

who gets to decide

 

What matters

the name

when two planets collide

 

Tomato

tomatto

they’re both bleeding red

 

Beyond what

you call them

— beyond what is said

 

**

 

Point Of No Return

 

With hate

there’s still hope

When emotions flatline

— it’s over

 

**

 

But In Name

 

More than strangers

less than friends

Forced estrangement

time portends

 

Brothers — Sisters

but in name

Exiled feelings

— parental shame

 

**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extend Both Arms

 

When you can

almost reach out

and touch

the feeling

 

You should stop

and extend

both arms

in the wind

 

Embracing

what’s coming

releasing

what’s going

 

In tune with

the moment

alive

— from within

 

**

 

Never Meant

 

Searching for

the missing link

Looking for

that missing piece

I was never meant

to be silent

And never meant

— to be alone

 

**

 

Genre Hides

 

How does greatness

reveal itself

let me ask you true …

 

When not one label

can be affixed

is that the proof on view

 

Ray Charles singing

in every style

his magic to transcend

 

What genre hides

in bias cries

— and devils will portend

 

**

 

Hello / Goodbye

 

Waiting for tomorrow

leaving yesterday

My spirit in transition

too far along to stay

 

With every new endearment

from those who’ve marked my path

Hello / Goodbye I say at once

— keeping first things last

 

**

 

Dear Miles

 

It took me a while

to get comfortable

with Jazz

Or maybe myself

reinvented

and clad

 

The middle

extending

past beginning and end

 

To hold me

its captive

— each note to befriend

 

 

**

 

Heads Or Tails

 

Love and Hate

two sides of a coin

Flipped in the air

the devil may care

 

Flipped in the air

the devil may care

Betting on fate

— free will to purloin

 

**

 

 

Sating Time

 

To find

your fill

in fasting

 

Frees

the worried

mind

 

And feeds

all moods

inclement

 

To sate

the pangs

— of time

 

**

 

 

Embedded

 

All men

should ever

for a just cause

bleed

 

As brothers

from the mother

of all

conceived

 

Embedded

in pursuit

of a righteous

behest

 

Together

they foray

in nobility’s

— quest

 

**

 

In Sync

 

I have a

great deal

of company

when nobody calls

 

In sync

with myself

whose essence

— befalls

 

**

 

 

Tears Pass Me By

 

I’ve never found

a suitor

that trumps

being alone

And never found

a question

whose answer

unknown

I’ve never found

the reason

why tears

pass me by

And never found

comfort

in wondering

— why

 

**

 

Joy Self-Fulfilling

 

Virtue unorphaned

with neighbors

rebounds

To live where

a joyous

collective surrounds

One good deed

adopted

rechristened by ten

Its joy

self-fulfilling

— when captive within

 

**

  

Between Whom And Whomever

 

What sort of space

separates one

from the other

 

Is it measured

in inches

or mood swings of time

 

What is the distance

between whom

and whomever

 

Creating

new spaces

— with names to define

 

**

 

Your Oracle Waits

 

Follow your genius

wherever it leads

It’s sleeping internal

eternally free

 

Commune with yourself

let all sleeping dogs lie

Your oracle waits

— deep within you inscribed

 

**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Going from one kind

of hell to another

The women would change

— but his torment remained

 

**

 

Fidelity’s Orphan

 

The lies are easy

but truth gives me trouble

Veracity’s mistress

lingers unwed

 

Deceit an enchantress

that woos in our folly

Fidelity’s orphan

— unnamed and ill bred

 

**

 

Bridges

 

Wit

is the difference

between a quote

— and a quip

 

**

 

Robin’s Hood

 

To live

outside the law

if righteousness

decrees

To stand alone

against the throne

fugitive

— and free

 

**

 

Misdirection

 

You can’t change what is

with what isn’t

You can’t say goodbye

with hello

You can’t fix what’s wrong

with ill mention

You can’t touch the sky

— from below

 

**

 

Lessons Belie

 

You can never teach

the heart of a poem

only its form or structure

at best

 

What’s beating inside

every lesson belies

and no box or its wrapper

— will ever attest

 

**

 

Ancient Jaws

 

Hiding

below the surface

Water

muddy and stark

A snapping

turtle waits in silence

Lurking

— in the dark

 

**

 

 

One Eye Left Open

 

All change is internal

the outside world staid

 

Heaven’s dead reckon

is trapped in the senses

 

Caught in a mirror

of transient reflection

 

One eye left open

— the other relayed

 

**

 

Between The Notes

 

Idleness

hides the most

attractive

industry

 

Often

the most valued

part of

the day

 

Lost

in the magic

of chance

undetermined

 

Rich

not in money

but in wonder

— assayed

 

**

 

Safe Harbors

 

Encircled by memory

old feelings surround

Confronted by turmoil

they seek common ground

 

Each musing familiar

old thoughts from the fray

Marching together

— to carry the day

 

**

 

Never Stop Believing

 

Never say no

till you’re

too busy

to say yes

 

Never stop writing

till the

words

have regressed

 

Never stop asking

till the

last question’s

gone

 

Never stop believing

till

right

— becomes wrong

 

**

 

 

 

 

E.J. Hudak was a poet, a scholar, a college administrator, and a nationally renowned advocate for the handicapped — and he was my brother-in-law and best friend.

E.J. (Edward John), Eddie to his friends, had the misfortune to contract polio only 6 months before Dr. Jonas Salk would pioneer a vaccine that would save millions of children worldwide from the same fate that Eddie would suffer.

Eddie lived his life inside a full body brace in a wheelchair and slept in an iron lung that he affectionately called his ‘Yellow Submarine.’

I met Eddie in 1970 at Saint Joseph’s University in Philadelphia, where as English – Philosophy majors, we suffered through the academic rigors that the Jesuits were so fond of.  I lived in a ramshackled apartment across the street from campus where Eddie and I would spend countless hours discussing the many topics we would both eventually turn into poetry.

Eddie defied every obstacle life threw in his path.  Against what doctors and advisors told him, he eventually married, bought a home, secured a senior administrative position at a New Jersey University, and wrote a newspaper column that advocated for handicapped rights that was syndicated in over 65 different newspapers across America.

Eddie gave me many gifts over our years together, but the greatest gift he gave me was his sister, who in 1974 became my wife and lifelong soul mate.

Eddie succumbed to the lingering effects of his polio in 1993, but before he died, he saw his first book of poetry published —‘The Diary Of The Court Jester.’  In its pages, he gives us all a poignant look inside a man who never weighed more than 55 pounds but was a giant when it came to overcoming pain and life’s most challenging circumstances with grace, insight, and humor.

As I post some of his poems, I hope you all read them with a thankfulness in your heart for the blessings that you have.  Eddie never complained and was possibly the most upbeat person I have ever known. To meet him once was to have your life changed forever.

These poems are his story …

 

Note:  I will only post this introduction once.

 

One

Ask me if I know pain

I’ll say

I know him well

We have been acquainted

Since that day

When first he came in great red waves

To wash across a child’s body

Drowning him in salted water

& then maturing with the spirit

& the mind

The boy advanced with age

& ingravescent torment

His disposition ever pliant

To stabbing fire

Throbbing drums

& hours black with mental anguish

No part escapes those talons rooted deep

No oasis can be found to bid relief

Screams or muted cries of anger

Will not exorcise this demon

For he lives as I live

My mind his

My blood his

My soul his

Death of the host is death of the guest

Death of the quest is death of the host

We are one entangled in each other

Like the storm & the wind

Like the larva & the fly

To part is to die

 

E.J. Hudak

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lingering Thoughts

 

The greatest oasis …

Walden Pond of the mind

Where lives unencumbered

the best we will find

 

Nothing so remote

as those lingering thoughts

That live in the wilderness

— of memory uncaught

 

**

 

Copper Wire

 

Trying to break our connection …

connects us the more

And brings into focus

what’s shared but unsure

 

The closest we come

to ever fading away

Is when we stop trying

— to live every day

 

**

 

 

The Tub Indisposed

 

The dirty laundry of America

hangs on the line

Unclean in its fester

and soiled defines …

 

A washing awaits

whose tub indisposed

And leaking excuses

the stains — ill exposed

 

**

 

Clearing The Way

 

Practicing nothing

Thoreau comes to mind

Instilling the hours

with gold never mined

 

What rushes upon me

once clearing the way

Denied to most others

— who labor unstayed

 

**

 

From The Canyon

 

Entertaining an echo …

a welcoming voice

That comes from the canyon

where depth is a choice

 

A house guest inherent

who lingers and stays

Remarking my journey

— with each passing day

 

**

 

Unsullied Shores

 

Gauguin among poets

the jungle reclaims

Remote in his anger

the wilderness flames

 

A beauty transcendent

on unsullied shores

His words to live native

— and wild du jour

 

**

 

Crossing Over

 

Time familiar

while reason lasts

That final moment

before breaking away

 

Into the ether

of light’s tomorrow

Once crossing over

— my soul relayed

 

**

 

Each Tick A Warning

 

Time’s weapon is age …

the years to sharpen

The days into hours

then minutes defrayed

 

The minutes to seconds

each tick a new warning

The seconds to moments

— where time will betray

 

**

 

Yesterday’s Droppings

 

Incendiary forces

rekindle your memory

Sparking each impulse

lighting the fuse

 

To burn through the fodder
of yesterday’s droppings

Turned into ashes

— freeing the Muse

 

**

 

Giving Life

 

“Words matter …”

sayeth Thoreau

Giving life

to the speaker

And hearer

— anew

 

**

 

A Robin’s Song

 

It sounds so right

 it almost feels wrong

The days rebirthed

and captured in song

 

No tears of sadness

unspoken joy

A robin singing

— my soul its toy

 

**

 

Fully Committed

 

Jumping into the pit

to fight the snake

Fully committed

to live or to die

 

Leaving the comfort

of safety’s restriction

Grabbing its tail

 — my fear to defy

 

(Dreamsleep: April, 2026)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Dark Side

 

Freedom

is damned

by its own

proclamation

 

Where choices

once good

turn away

from the truth

 

Freedom

of speech

not just for

the righteous

 

Self-serving

subversion

alive

— to pursue

 

**

 

Fading To Black

 

Time

weaves loss

into the dormant

mind

 

Caught in

abeyance

vacuum

— entwined

 

(Dreamsleep: April, 2026)

 

 

**

 

 

To Set Free

 

Once they are read

words become language

Language becomes freedom

— enlightenment fed

 

 

**

 

 

Lost In Reference

 

All the time

I spent remiss

Comparing

the comparisons

 

All the time

I spent vacant

Lost

— to myself

 

**

 

New Arrivals

 

Unphased

and rephrased

 old words become new

 

Repurposed

with feeling

as Sages review

 

Intrepid

endemic

the passion preserved

 

For those

new arrivals

— who search underserved

 

 

**

 

 

Ellis Island

 

Its hope

is unfettered

beyond tyranny

or fear

 

The gateway

to freedom

its port

— to endear

 

 

**

 

 

Wasted Breath

 

“This Has To Stop”

is never enough

the words are

empty still

 

“This Has To Stop”

a wasted breath

of status quo

— distilled

 

**

 

 

To The Political Elites

 

I don’t buy

what you’re selling

I won’t sing

in your choir

I can’t kneel

at your altar

I serve truth

— not a liar

 

 

**

 

 

Steps Determine

 

Right foot inside

the circle

left foot out

 

Left foot inside

the circle

right foot out

 

Inside

outside

steps determine

 

Acceptance

rejection

— inside out

 

**

 

 

Surviving The Forest

 

Grow wild

according to thy nature

And slay the waiting demon

of fates revenge

 

To worship

at the highest altar

Above alpine meadows

— where the heart befriends

 

**

 

Sands Of Time

 

The hourglass

empties

Each day

valued more

 

To savor

and treasure

This moment

— endures

 

(Dreamsleep: April, 2026)