The Music Stops

The jaws sing

As the drip, drip, drip,

Of the petroleum chorus

Dances across

The inverted aluminum

And the hissing starts

And the hissing stays

Its smell a warning

A final omen

Like the last rose

Of summer

Or the fragrance she wore

For that final goodbye

The teeth tear inward

Like the regret for today

And the regret for yesterday

And the lament for tomorrow

Its promise broken

And your khakis red

And baptized

A stigmata

To self infliction

As the music plays constant

And the rushing you feel

An emptying of sorrow

Onto the crushed ceiling

Of a dream in reverse

Of all life in reverse

Until two arms grab you

And you fall from the sky

And you fall from the sky

Waiting

For the ground

To coronate the outcome

And for one more answer

To a ‘why’ unquestioned

And to love you one more time

But the lights are now dim

And the voices muffled

As an organ can be heard

And store bought flowers smelled

And an old woman cries…

As a young woman cries…

And a stranger pronounces

What you feared the most

They didn’t know you

And couldn’t know you

The exit sign flashing

But there is no door

“There Is No Door”

  —and then the music stops

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)

The Lie

Your arms lift me up

  as your words take me down

 

And I’m caught in-between

  your smile and frown

 

Your arms making promises

  your words never keep

 

My spirit in limbo

  my heart left to weep

 

My soul is in turmoil

  my mind double dealt

 

As your fear and your passion

  collide

 

What’s to be known,

  and what’s to be felt

 

Is it your words or your actions

  —that lie

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)

Casting Shame

By darkness I trolled

  in my oft-shedding skin

 

Hidden alleys I roamed

  for new victims at whim

 

But at last I must face

  the deception I’ve wrought

 

And repay every memory

  that festers and rots

 

As my twisted rebellion

  turns its anger within

 

No forgive or forgetting

  or my blaming the gin

 

In the few moments left

  as I slither and weave

 

Still bearing false witness

  against those I’ve deceived

 

My venom gets swallowed

  death final and small

 

With the light I once blocked

  —casting shame on it all

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)

Unbaptized Words

Certificate unsigned

  pen firmly in hand

 

The bliss not for barter

  its insight free-stands

 

Faith and acceptance

  may go where they please

 

To my grave and beyond

  the verse teaches and frees

 

No savior I ask for

  forgiveness I shun

 

Redemption unspoiled

  new ink on the run

 

Till one day uncovered

  hidden deep on the shelf

 

A message unchristened

   buried dark and unfelt

 

Where the voice I was gifted

  and the music I heard

 

In themselves live forever

  —free unbaptized words

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)

Its Reckoning Comes

Is God to interpret

  and religion the why

 

Is forever too heavy

  to pledge bye and bye

 

Does the Devil provide balance

  to a concept in stone

 

Is he laughing inside us

  mocking all that we know

 

Is God left to children

   and those purest of heart

 

Is all truth chained to symbols

  has its lock come apart

 

Are the years there to change us

  is each day meant to count

 

Are the scriptures worth hearing

  if belief has to shout

 

To those fanatics among us

   yes, you know who you are

 

A power looms distant

  beyond testament’s scar

 

Its claim staked by no one,

  its icon’s unseen

 

And its reckoning comes

  —when you wake from this dream

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)

Yes

Waiting for the final ticket out,

 I would write that ending word

 

And bid goodbye to all I’d said

 both ignored—and often heard

 

I asked the conductor about the fare,

 he said “How much can you pay”

 

As I held my pen, three letters  

 came together—so arranged

 

A moment lingered, a lifetime flashed,

 the past and future caught

 

And with voucher punched I climbed aboard

 stamped YES—salvation bought

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: September, 2018)